So, I decided to scrap a POV character today. Erron, the young initiate, is gone as a POV character. He still figures prominently, but as he was too passive, I will replace him with Malost, a character who has a much more active role in the story right from the beginning and one I hope will draw the reader in more strongly than the initiate.
Here is the first bit I wrote this evening:
Malost found the wine here in the City of The White Boar a good match for the weather; cold, toneless, and none too agreeable to the palate of those not born of these northern climes.
Toneless or not, he reflected, swaying slightly as he turned from the bar, it serves.
Finding his cup empty and the serving maid being groped by a largish man who had her on his lap, Malost decided he must head to the bar himself. Squinting, he marked its location and set out across a floor that seemed to roll under his feet like the seas surrounding the tiny homeland he’d left behind years ago.
He dropped another coin on the bar, slammed the cup back. Had another served, started on it.
Malost closed his eyes and muttered a prayer.
The smell of salt and sea, gulls crying on the wind.
Malost grinned, heart rejoicing in the sense of being back on the shores of his often-missed homeland.
A belch welled, found release, brought him crashing to the present with its thunder.
Almost, but not quite.
He again closed red-stained eyes, trying to find that place he needed to be, right on the edge…
Two Pathless hunched over a table, one with a tentacle waving, another with a hard shell covering half a twisted face, both before a third Pathless whose malformed skull had a raised crown of points and barbs along the brow.
“Patience,” the Crowned One urged, “the triptych will arrive in a few days. Until then, you must stay here.”
Ignoring the complaints of his companions, the Crowned One drank and upended his cup, ”I will bring more wine, food, and a proper offering before we make the next attempt.”
Malost knew, then, where they were. It was not so far from where he swayed.
Stars, then bright light. A youth, as much boy as man, striding from the light, sun in his hair, speaking words Malost could not hear but understood, somehow, to be those of his namesake.
The same boy, now more a man, with grapevine wound through his hair, a song on his lips, and a jug of wine in hand, guiding others through a complex dance.